


HollyWood Whore

by Danisnotatop



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Hollywood, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Angst, Runaway, Sex Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:28:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9661340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danisnotatop/pseuds/Danisnotatop
Summary: Dan Howell is from a small town with big dreams. At 17 he drops out of school and runs off to Hollywood to be a famous actor, leaving everyone behind including his best friend Phil Lester with not so much of a word.Flash forward 3 years later and Dan's washed out, he couldn't make it in Hollywood. He's barely keeping himself alive. Homeless, drug addicted, and having to sell his body for money.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I update first on my Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/user/SerenityBurley4

Dan loved his family, he really did but he hated this town. It was a hole people fell in and never got back out, his family moved here when he was 10 along with his best friend Phil. His and Phil's dads were business partners and decided moving to America would be a good career move, so now he's stuck here in a small town in Kansas hating life.

Not all of it was bad, school was okay. Sure he got the occasional homophobic comment but everyone else were supportive enough and even stuck up for him a few times. His parents loved him well enough but were often busy, leaving Dan to take care of his little brother. And of course he had Phil, they've been best friends since the age 5. They met on the first day of school after Dan got pushed into the dirt at school, crushing his flowers he had picked. Phil had chased away the boy that pushed him and helped Dan to his feet giving him a lopsided smile that made Dan's heart melt. Since then they'd been practically adjoined at the hip, they swear they could have died from happiness when their parents became partners and they could see each other more.

He also has his piano and drama lessons, acting and music are the only thing that made his life seem worth anything. He's can't wait until the day he'll be a big famous actor. He's seen a dozen other people with the same dream, all of them ended up not making it. They all ended up being waitresses and waiters and having a kid when they were a teenager. But not Dan, no Dan was different, he was going to make it. Dan was going to get out of this town if it killed him, he was getting out of it tonight.

Dan knew everyone would tell him it's ridicules and that he needs to at leas finish school but he knew he could do it. He didn't tell anyone about his plan, not even Phil. He's been planning for a little over a year now, he was going to leave an hour after his parents went to bed and catch a bus to Hollywood. He has enough money saved to start him off, not much but it would work.

When the time to leave came Dan was nervous, he'd packed his belongings the the night before. He silently crept out his room and down the stair, he froze when the floor creaked scared he woke up his parents. After about a minute he started walking again, he slipped out the back door and broke out into an sprint. He was behind schedule and didn't want to miss the last bus, as soon as he got there it pulled up. He took a deep breath, mentally said goodbye to Phil and stepped inside the bus.


	2. Chapter 1

Three years later

Dan stood out in the cold waiting for the cab to pull up, a man in his late 50's kissing up his neck. Dan was wrong, he couldn't make it, he got a few parts but nothing more. They mostly consisted of commercials and extras, afterwards he couldn't find anyone that would hire him and the money that he had saved ran out.

So now here he was, drunk and high selling his body to old rich, married men. Dan shivered and pulled his thin jacket closer to him, his feet hurt from his platform boots and skirt he was wearing barley covered anything.

"You cold baby boy?" The guy asked and pulled Dan in the cab, Dan just shrugged, "Come on, are you shy?" The man wrapped his arms around him and licked a strip of his neck.

Dan turned to him and batted his eyes, time to put his acting skills to use. "No, just excited," he said and into the mans ear before licking his lips. The man growled and roughly pressed his lips to Dan's, by that time the cab had pulled up to the mans hotel. Dan allowed the older male to push him out and into the building.

"Let's have some fun," Dan smiled and swayed into the hotel room, he sat down on the floor and pulled out a plastic baggie of white powder. "Do you have a bill?" The man laughed and handed Dan 100 dollar bill, while Dan separated the powder into 6 lines the man took off his jacket and grabbed them a bottle of wine.

"This isn't your first time doing this kind of thing, is it?" He asked and took a swing from the bottle. Dan quickly snorted up three of the lines before handing the bill to the guy, "Nah. Is it yours?" Dan laughed and took the bottle from the man and gulped down half of it in one go. The man blushed and quickly snorted up the other three lines, he started coughing and Dan patted his back and giggled like crazy.

Dan began to gently palm the man through his pant, barley aware of his actions. The man sucked in a breathe and pulled Dan off the floor and pushed him on the bed. Dan looked up with him and licked his lips, the man groaned and pushed his pants off along with his own boxers. Dan sat on his knees and began to undress too, the man pulled out a condom and a travel size bottle of lube after he had successfully undressed himself, Dan tried not to gag.

"Don't bother in stretching me, already did it." Dan said and got on his hands and knees, he heard the man moan and uncap the bottle of lube. A second later he felt the man push into him non to gently, Dan winced at the stretch but didn't complain. The man didn't give him anytime to adjust before he was thrusting quickly and roughly, he shut his eyes and fake moaned. he imagined home, his family, anything that could take his mind anywhere but where he was. He missed them dearly, he wondered where his family thought he was, if they were worried about him. He imagined the blue eyes he missed most, he hates himself for leaving Phil. he wished he could be with him now, wish that he was curled up with his best friend playing Mario Kart.

The man thrust into him one last time before he came in the condom and pulled out, he collapsed next to Dan and almost immediately passed out.

~~~~

Dan woke up to the sun shining in his eyes, he blinked confused about where he was. He looked over and saw a man next to him and groaned. He slowly got up and dressed, he grabbed the mans pants and pulled out a wad of money and what seemed to be a bottle of Oxycontin. He dumped half the bottle into his mouth and washed them down with the left over wine from last night.

He stumbled his way out of the room and down the streets, it was to bright out and he was shaking. He could barley see and kept on bumbling into people, mumbling an apology and trying to calm his raging headache. He needed to get out of the streets quickly before he passed out.

He began coughing, he put his hand to to his mouth. His hand was covered in blood and his head was spinning, his vision was beginning to grow white and he fell to his knees. The last thing he remembers is a voice yelling for help.


	3. Chapter 2

Dan woke up confused, the first thing he noticed was the IV in his arm and the loud beeping and then doctors and nurses hovering over him talking. He heard bits in pieces of what they were saying as he began to gain consciousness. "Out for 24 hour," "Drug overdose," and his favorite, "Nothing on him was found to indicate his identity."

Dan groaned and went to sit sit up, surprising the doctors at his sudden awaken. "Sir, do you remember anything?" one of the younger doctors asked. Dan thought for a minute before slowly nodding his head yes.

"Great," she says, "Sir, we were unable to obtain your identity, can you give us your name and someone to contact?" all the doctors were quickly dispersing except the one that wouldn't shut up and a nurse that was checking his vitals.

"D-Daniel Howell." His voice was dry and felt like he swallowed a cheese grater. The doctor nodded her head and told the nurse to get him some water, "I'm Dr. Sugg but you may call me Zoe if it makes you more comfortable. Now do you have anyone we could contact?" She beamed at him.

Dan gulped down the water the nurse gave him, he really wanted to see his family but he wasn't sure they wanted to see him. After a few beats Dan stutters out his parents phone number that he hoped they hadn't changed. Zoe smiled once more before telling him to get some rest after he ate and left the room. Not but a few minutes after she left a tray of food was brought to him and he realized how hungry he was, the food was bland but he didn't care. After he ate almost every bite but the broccoli, he hated green food sue him, he laid back down and almost immediately fell asleep.

~~~~~

He didn't know how long he slept but he did know the sun was shining and he was shaking, he wasn't cold, and had a twisted feeling in his stomach and felt like his skin was crawling. He looked around and tried to find something to distract him, he decided to watch some boring soap opera on the TV across from his bed. Maybe about half an hour a nurse came into check on him and informed him he had some visitors, he suddenly was very anxious about the fact they got here so quickly before telling the nurse to send them in and went to pull himself up to sit on the side of the bed.

Too soon the door burst open and a frazzled woman and a very tired looking man stepped rushed in that Dan faintly remembers as his parents, "Dan!" His mother exclaimed and threw her arms around him, "What the fuck were you thinking running away with no word for three year! We thought you were dead!" His mother started crying pulling him closer. He wrapped his still shaking arms around his mother and whispered out apologizes like his life depended on it.

He looked up at his dad who was still standing near his bed, he was staring at him as if he were dreaming, a few stray tears making it's way down his face. "Dad," Dan whispered, hoping he wasn't too disappointed. His father seemed to snap out of it and wrapped his arms around both his wife and son.

After what felt like years a knock broke them apart and Dr. Sugg came in. "Sorry to interrupt the reunion but we need to talk, I wasn't able to inform you over the phone as to why Mr. Howell is in here." She gave Dan a stern look, one that a protective big sister would give that made him feel both intimidated and comforted. Dan's family pulled away completely to speak with the doctor, "Dan was brought in here with a copious amount of Cocaine, Oxycontin, and alcohol in his system. His body couldn't take it and he overdosed, he's lucky to be alive." She told the trio.

Drugs? Really Dan?" His father whispered and both his parents casted a glance at him, he wanted to die. He already caused them enough pain and now they're finding out their son is an addict.

"Dan is set to be discharged but I think it's best to look into sending him into a rehab." Zoe said carefully picking up on the rising tension between the three.

"No, absolutely not. He's been away from home for too long, we can help him from there." His mother stated stubbornly.

"As you wish. "Zoe pressed her lips in a thin line, "We need some paperwork to be filled out."

~~~~~

It all went to fast for Dan, he was signed out of the hospital a few hours later and dressed in the clothes his parents had packed for him and tomorrow they had to catch a flight early in the morning. During the car ride the tension was stronger, as if it was smushed at them in the cramped space.

"Dan, we're glad we have you back and we love you." His mom broke the tension like a knife, he breathed out a breath of relief but in the back of his mind he felt like the love would be a little less if they knew what he did to get by. during the car ride he found out that his brother, Adrian, had stayed behind in Kansas with a friend and was doing well in school and was told stories that made his heart long to be back there now.

When they arrived at the hotel he froze, it was the same hotel where he had his last, um client, before he overdosed. He hoped to god the man wasn't still there and started to follow his parents. He wasn't that lucky, as him and his parents were heading to the elevator the older man form that night stepped off of it, his eyes widened before he recognized Dan and a sly smirk grew on his face. Dan stopped walking and prayed he didn't say anything, his parents stopped as well throwing a questioning look towards him.

"I see, one round wasn't good enough for you?" shit, he was having the worst day, "I think I could go for another one as well depending on how much you're charging." he fucking hated life. his parents stiffened and looked at him, sensing the uncomfortable aura around them the man left without another word.

Dan's parents looked like they were arguing with themselves to talk to Dan about what happened but decided that was for another time and conversation before tiredly rubbing their eyes and getting on the elevator. Dan let out the breath he was holding and got on as well, silently thanking them.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my dudes for not updating lately, been kinda busy. By that I mean reading fanfiction a stressing about starting high school.

The plane ride back to Kansas was awkward at best, no one daring to break the tension. What Dan had been doing for the past three years had finally set in with his parents, the evidence was hos sickly pale face and his shaking hands, not to mention how snappy he was and his constant trips to the bathroom to throw up.

Dan didn't feel any guilt at that moment, the only feelings he had was the ache and craving for something, anything, to get him high. His stomach was twisting and he was in a cold sweat, he hated this feeling more than anything on the world. More than the guilt he had for running away, the shame of his career path, the feeling he got when he first let someone use him; this was by far the worst feeling in the world.

He hated the glances his parents through at him and the whispers they thought he didn't notice. He just wanted to get up and throw the exit door open and let the air suck him down, he couldn't sit still, he kept pacing up and down the aisle until the stewardess told him to sit back down. He needed off this fucking plane.

He eventually settled down and his mother handed him some gum and asked if he wanted to build a puzzle in a worried voice. He shrugged and let that occupy his mind, it almost worked to distract him but after an hour he grew restless again.

When the plane finally touched down he practically dove out of his seat and pushed his way out after they opened the doors. When his family caught up to him his dad put his hand on his shoulder to slow him down and guide him to the gate. He was shocked by who was there to greet him, there stood Mr and Mrs. Lester wearing big smiles. 

"Daniel, it's so good to see you! we just got back ourselves, Phil of course stayed in England for a few more days," Mrs. Lester practically launched herself in his trembling arms.

~~~~~

The car ride home was as awkward as the plane ride. Mrs. Lester, bless her soul, was the one to speak first, "So what have you been up to big movie star?" She waggled her eyebrows and turned around in her seat to look at him.

"U-um, not much, how have you been?" He played with his fingers nervously and refused to meet any of their eyes.

"I'm doing swimmingly, Phil on the other hand was a nervous mess when you left. He only recently started coming out of his shell, he's started making these videos on this site called YouTube and has gained himself a small following." She spoke almost to fast for him to keep up, her husband just hummed in approval.

"Um, does Phil know I'm back," he said, barley audible to even his own ears. He never meant to hurt Phil, he was stupid.

"No Dear, we thought it'd be a fun surprise!" She patted her husbands shoulder and smiled warmly, he swallowed thickly and just nodded. The car was plunged into silence once again other than Mr and Mrs. Lester's occasional comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, somehow my dumbass got into all honors classes except math.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking tired, end me please. Also I wrote this on my phone so sorry for the mistakes.

The next few days were living hell for Dan, his brother avoided him like the black plague and he hurt. His eyes were sunken in and his skin was a pale yellow, to top it off he had no appetite and was losing weight rapidly. He could barley pick up a cup without dropping it from the shaking, his whole body ached and his skin was crawling with a burning need.

He had told his parents to not let anyone, including Phil, know he was back. He wasn't ready for the attention or disappointment, he got enough of that from his parents.

The only thing Dan reckoned kept him sane was the internet, more specifically Tumblr and YouTube. It was so easy to get lost in hours of videos that his hunger for drugs subsided for that time being. YouTube kept him stable but also fucked his head up, it didn't take him long to find Phil's channel. He spent all day and night watching his videos, he fell in love all over again. Not that he was in love with Phil in the first place, that would be completely ludicrous. He hated himself for leaving Phil, hated who he has become and hated that he was still alive.

He couldn't ever face Phil again, he just couldn't. He was too pathetic, too weak, too worthless. Phil was so pure and Dan was so corrupted, filthy, vile, gloomy. Dan didn't notice he was crying he touched his face with shaking hands. He violently scrubbed his eyes, he couldn't cry. Couldn't be weaker than what he already is.

He slammed his laptop shut and stood up so fast he gave himself whiplash, he shook it off and stuffed his feet in converse and slid on a black coat. He pulled the hood over his face before marching out the front door, he needed to go for a walk and clear his head. He didn't make it to far before he ran into someone, almost falling over a pale hand shot out to catch him.

"Hey, are you oka-Dan?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a shitty chapter that I wrote half asleep.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY, MY SCHOOL JUST STARTED STATE TESTING AND I'VE BEEN REALLT BUSY. WE STILL HAVE TWO MORE WEEKS OF TESTING LEFT, END ME

"Hey, are you oka-Dan?" Fuck, this was not happening, this couldn't be happening. Before Dan knew it he felt arms circle around and pull him against their chest. Despite his brain screaming at me to flee he melted into the touch and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

All Dan's senses were engulfed in him, Phil. He forgot about the drugs, the failure, the sex work, the disappointment. 

"Where the fuck have you been?" Dan was pulled back to earth, Phil barley ever swore. Dan pulled away from him and looked into his bright blue eyes. God have I missed those eyes. 

Dan felt tears run down my face, he was stupid. He was angry at him for leaving, he wished he never would have gotten on that bus and stayed with Phil.

"I-I was in Hollywood." He looked down in a shameful manner, his cheeks going red and tears pricking his eyes. He heard Phil let out a sigh before he felt an arm around his shoulder and starting to lead him in the direction of Phil's house. 

Once there Phil practically drug him to his room, not giving him a chance to process where he was. Dan sat on the bed and looked around with tears blaring his vision, Phil's bedroom hadn't changed much over the years.

"So am I getting any explanation why you left with not so much as a note, why I haven't gotten a single call or text?" His voice cracked towards the end of his question. 

"Phil, I-I'm sorry. I was gonna call, I was I just wasn't able too. I just got mixed up in shit and couldn't get out and I'm sorry!" The tears had spilled over Dan's eyes and everything that he could remember from the past three years came crashing back at him. He pulled his knees up and buried his face into them.

"Fuck, hey you don't have to tell me now! Just don't do it again, okay?" He heard Phil rush out and felt himself being pushed back and into Phil's soft chest. He later there and cried for what seemed like hours before darkness washed over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I'm kinda sick so this is a bit short and chalk full of mistakes.


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned from the dead, schools about over so I'll be able to update more frequently.

Dan jolted awake, confused about where he was. Oh, Phil's room. He sat up, the Raven haired boy nowhere in sight, the room hadn't changed much from what Dan remembered. There was a few new pictures and boxes with shit piled into them but other than that it was still the same, complete with the Buffy shrine on the ceiling that made him giggle. 

Dan got up, his muscles creaking in protest. He made his way to the mostly cleared desk in the corner, on it was the camera Phil used for videos, his laptop, and a small open box with things overflowing out of it haphazardly. At the too of the box was an old scrapbook, Dan knew he shouldn't have been snooping but he couldn't help himself.

With trembling hands he picked up the book and sat back down on the bed. The first picture was the day they met, they were so young and happy it sent a pang through his heart, the second was Dan's 14th birthday, he cringed at his past self. The pictures continued on until the last picture they took together, it was the day before Dan ran away; Dan was unaware that a picture was being took, he was in a light blue jumper biting on the sleeves and reading a book under the tree in Phil's backyard, Phil was staring at him as if he were the only thing in the world. Dan felt like flinging that damn book across the room, he hated himself for what he did to Phil.

The very last page of the book an envelope was tucked between the pages, he pulled it out and though he knew how creepy it was, opened it. Inside was an apartment lease/paperwork all the way back in Manchester. Phil was going to leave him like he left.

"Having fun going through my stuff?" A sullen voice spoke from the doorway. Dan dropped the book and turned to face Phil, "Y-you're moving?"

Phil walked in, "What did you expect Dan, me to stay here and wait for you to come back?" Phil sighed, "I had to move on and accept you'd never come back, I have more opportunities in England."

"I-I was going to come back for you, I swear I could never leave you. I just got into some things that I couldn't get out of." Dan choked, tears were stinging the back of his eyes but he refused to cry in front of Phil again. 

"Three years, I waited three fucking years. It was killing me Dan," Phil's voice was raising in volume, "I fucking love you and you left me, what happened to always being together?" Dan's sucked in a breathe as Phil kept ranting, getting angrier and louder to the point he was screaming. Dan needed to get out of there, needed the pain to go away, needed the numbness he was so used to back.

So that's what he did, he pushed Phil out of the way and ran. He ran until he was gasping for breathe and his thighs were shaking. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, his dealer back in Hollywood had drug houses everywhere.

\--  
Phil's POV

Fuck! He couldn't believe he let his emotions overtake him, he scared off Dan and he'd probably never get him back. He wanted to follow Dan but he didn't think it would be a good idea, he picked the scrapbook off the floor and cradled it to his chest and sobbed. He wished Dan never left, wished he wasn't such an asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY BUT HERE'S A POEM THING I WROTE AND I WANNA KNOW IF IT'S GOOD AND IF I SHOULD FINISH IT!
> 
>  
> 
> Your touch sends shivers down my spine and leaves me craving more,  
> Your sharp kiss against my wrist leaves me with hope and makes me feel loved,
> 
> As you run your hands down my arms, across my hips, and grip my thighs I'm happy but numb,
> 
> Where you you warmth erupts up and spreads, my love for you drips down my arms to my fingertips. It looks at my feet waiting to be loved back but you taught me I could never truly be loved.
> 
> Your burning hit lips seer my skin, the kisses we share are only filled with dark list and greed. I don't want this but I'm too scared to end it,
> 
> I'm in love with you, all your sharp angles and curves make me smile bitterly. I want to leave you but along the way I became addicted, I can't love without you but you're slowly killing me,
> 
> Was it a lie that it'll get better? That you'll make everything okay?
> 
> You're the weight on my chest suffocating me,
> 
> When you hit me it's a kiss goodnight,
> 
> I want you to leave me alone but when you go the silence is is worse, my arms too bare
> 
> When I fight back you come back stronger, piercing my heart,
> 
> You tell me it's okay and you're always there but you make me fell empty.


End file.
